第2-18章：漂亮的扎带 - A Nice Cable Tie

hitchcock

A Nice Cable Tie

      This is not really a defining moment, but one I will always remember, as it could have been a tragedy if it weren’t so funny! It was 2004, and we were doing one of our Mexican tours that I know very few bands undertake. I personally love Mexico and the Mexican people. They have been hardcore A.S. fans for decades. I remember being in Viña Del Mar in Chile in 1986, playing at the famous festival. A Mexican promoter asked us, “How come you’ve never played in Mexico? You have a lot of fans there.” We simply told the truth: nobody had asked us to go.

      Since then, we’ve played at least 60 shows throughout the country over the years. I doubt there is a city we have not played.

      We were scheduled to play Puebla and then Veracruz the next day. In order to make the shows, we needed a private plane to cover the distance. Our promoter, Felipe, assured us that we would have the plane and that the whole company could fly together, along with all our equipment.

      The Puebla show was fabulous. We stayed at a beautiful converted convent that dated from the 1600s. I actually had a room that a Spanish king slept in, and after sleeping on the bed, I believed it! (I even found a secret rooftop hot tub surrounded by bougainvillea without a soul around.)

      The next morning, we all drove to a private airfield on the outskirts of the city. We were looking around for the plane, but all we could see was an old propeller aircraft that looked like a crop duster from a bygone age. Yes, you guessed it – that was our ride. We all burst into fits of laughter and proceeded to make tasteless Buddy Holly jokes. But, sadly, the joke was on us.

      We affirmed that we couldn’t possibly fly on this plane. It was too small, too old and too dangerous. “No worries, “said our heroic promoter, Felipe, “It’s a cream puff.” There weren’t any commercial flights that could get us there on time, or so we were told, so the equipment began loading onto the plane. I particularly liked the brand new cable tie holding part of one of the propellers in place – a nice touch.

      Russell and I got on first and sat up front behind the fearless pilot, who when asked if he would get the plane off the ground quickly, reassured us by saying, “I think so.”

      I don’t know why we were so surprised, but there were only four seats on the plane and 11 of us, so eight of us had to sit on cases that were rolling around the cabin. There weren’t any seat belts, but we made liftoff, very gradually.

      The bad plane jokes kept coming, even until we were almost to Veracruz.

      I saw very few electronics in the cockpit. I think there was a compass and an altimeter. I was sure he had a sextant, just in case! Someone asked the pilot where the landing strip was, and he casually replied that it was, “Over there somewhere,” as he scanned the approaching horizon. We arrived safely, of course, and afterward never laughed so hard. Though it could have gone the other way. In those days, regulations in Mexican air travel were apparently very elastic!


中文译文：
      这件事虽说不是什么重要的事件，但是我却总是记得，因为它真的不那么有趣而且还差点酿成悲剧。事情发生在2004年，我们去墨西哥巡演，我知道很少乐队去那儿演出。其实我个人还是挺喜欢墨西哥和墨西哥的人们的。好多人数十年来都是我们A.S.的铁粉。依然记得1986年我在智利的Viña Del Mar,在当地著名的狂欢节上演出。一个墨西哥的演出经纪人问我，你们为什么从来不来墨西哥演出呢？你们真的有很多的粉丝在这里呢。“ 我们坦诚的回答他，没有人邀请我们来呀。

      从那时起，我们多年来辗转各个城市，至少做了60场演出，我觉得几乎没有我们没去过的城市了。

      我们计划头天在Puebla演出，接着第二天去Veracruz。由于我们的演出城市分散，我们需要一架私人飞机来覆盖整个旅程。而我们的演出经纪人Felipe像我们保证，提供飞机，我们整个团队包括我们的乐器设备都可以随机同行。

      在Puebla的演出非常精彩。我们的酒店是一所美丽的17世纪修道院改建的。我入住的房间，曾经西班牙国王也在此入住过。当我躺在床上的时候，我信了。（此处原文的意思是躺在床上，看到天花板上漂亮的图案YY了一番。）

      第二天一大早，我们驱车赶到市郊的私人机场。我们满心期待看到我们的包机，但是目力所及的飞机都是那种古董级的布满灰尘的老式螺旋桨飞机。是的，你猜对了。这就是我们的私人包机。我们相视大笑，这简直是个天大的笑话。不过旋即，悲剧的是，我们就是个大笑话。。。

      我们觉得我们肯定不能坐这飞机啊，又小又旧，还很危险。“别担心”，我们的演出经纪人Felipe说道，别像个胆小鬼，先生们。我们现在别无选择，任何一班商业客机都无法将我们准时送达。无奈，我们只能开始将乐器设备一一运上飞机。好吧，把我们的设备和螺旋桨用扎带固定牢，我真是爱死这扎带了。

      Russell和我第一个登机坐在了这个看上去勇敢无畏的飞行员后面；我们问这个飞行员能否确保安全着陆，他竟然安慰我们说：“我想应该是的。”

      我都不知道我们还有啥可以惊讶的，飞机只有4个座位，而我们一共有11个人。除去飞行员，也就是说我们得有8个人只能坐在那四处滚动的箱子上，而且没有任何安全带，而飞机即刻就要起飞了。

      在抵达Veracruz的路上，这架破飞机一直笑料不断。

      驾驶舱的电子仪器真的非常少，我看到一个指南针和一个海拔仪。为了以防万一，我相信他应该有六分仪吧。有人问飞行员，我们在哪儿着陆，他扫了一眼地平线，敷衍的回答说，在那边随便找个地方就行。最终，我们还是安全的着陆了。事实上，我们如释重负，长吁了一口气。尽管，这私人飞机和我们想的大相径庭。但是在墨西哥的那些日子，我们觉得那里的空管真的是太随意了。

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